


block it out (at least for now)

by TerraXV



Category: B-PROJECT 鼓動＊アンビシャス | B-PROJECT: Kodou Ambitious
Genre: Brother Theory hints, Gen, description of panic attack, do not copy to another site/app, past bullying references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24889663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerraXV/pseuds/TerraXV
Summary: He was used to Tomohisa being protective but he was surprised at how concerned he seemed this time. Even Yuta seemed anxious about Ryuji taking awhile. Kento was starting to wonder if they knew something he didn't.| Kento finds out a part of Ryuji's time during their Bambi days. Kento also blocks out the similarity they share in that regard.|
Relationships: Aizome Kento & Korekuni Ryuji
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	block it out (at least for now)

**Author's Note:**

> I thought about exploring a bit of how Ryuji was bulled back in Bambi for awhile now and always been interested in the Brother Theory for Ryuji and Kento. I'm glad I finally took this chance to write it out!
> 
> I put a warning in the tag but again I'll put a warning there is a panic attack in this. They don't always happen the same way for everyone but the description I use and the way to recover a bit from it are what I've personally on through.
> 
> With that warning in place, please enjoy reading!

Kento was used to seeing Tomohisa worry at odd times over his partner, but to see him and Yuta practically radiating their worry together was a bit much. So Ryuji was taking awhile after he said he was going to the vending machine they saw earlier. That wasn't much reason to go searching for him.

“He's probably fine.” Kento said as they left the break room.

“I know but...” Tomohisa seemed hesitant. “He forgot his phone here, so if you see him, let us know?”

“Sure thing. He probably got stopped by staff or something.” Kento shrugged.

“Maybe.” Tomohisa agreed but it didn't look like he believed it.

“He's fine, Tomo. It's not like with Yuta, always getting lost.”

“Mean!” Yuta pouted.

“I think you mean ' _true_ '.” Kento waved his hand as he headed down the hall.

He was used to Tomohisa being protective but he was surprised at how concerned he seemed this time. Even Yuta seemed anxious about Ryuji taking awhile. Kento was starting to wonder if they knew something he didn't. He tried to think about the last hour, if there was something to indicate anything that would warrant their worry but everything seemed normal for their photoshoot. Maybe it was just one of those times they went a little overboard with their reaction. If that was the case, he was sure Ryuji would be annoyed once he told him about the mini search party they were starting. The thought of it made him laugh a little.

“...if that's all you have to say then move out of the way. You're wasting my time.”

“Hey, I'm trying to make nice here.”

“You have a strange way of making nice.”

Kento stopped where he was. Right away, he knew that was Ryuji's voice he heard around the corner. He had no idea who the second person was though. Whoever it was, just his tone alone made it clear Ryuji wasn't talking to them willingly.

“Well, you kept acting like I wasn't in the room. I see your attitude hasn't changed all this time.”

“I see yours hasn't either. Now get out of my way.”

“I said I just want to talk, why are you-”

“Hey-!”

Ryuji made a noise that made Kento move on instinct. He stepped around the corner to see some dark haired guy grab onto Ryuji's arm. It took everything in Kento not to walk up and hit the guy himself.

“Something going on here?”

Both people jumped. The guy let go of Ryuji's arm as if he were burned. Ryuji took a couple steps back before turning to look at Kento. His expression cleared rather quickly but not before Kento saw the raw panic on his face. Now he starting to understand why Tomohisa and Yuta were getting so worried.

“Nothing. Just catching up with an old classmate,” The guy shrugged. He tried to play it off casually but he wouldn't look Kento in the eye. “I need to get back to my waiting room though.”

He walked past Ryuji and when he got closer, Kento swore he'd seen him somewhere before but he couldn't place where. Not that he could put much thought into it just then. He was more focused on how stiff Ryuji seemed as he kept standing in place.

After making sure that guy was out of sight, Kento asked, “Wanna tell me what that 'classmate' thing was about?”

“....he went to Bambi with us.” Ryuji responded after a pause. His tone was off.

“Ah, so that's why he looked familiar?” Kento started to vaguely remember now but nothing very clear. Obviously the guy wasn't anything noteworthy of. He glanced down at Ryuji, taking in how tense he still was. “I take it you weren't exactly friends back then?”

“Not even close.” Ryuji muttered. He was staring off to the side, his arms crossed over his chest. Kento frowned.

“Want to talk about it?”

“There's nothing to talk about. What are you doing here, anyway?”

“Tomo and Yuta were looking for you. You really need to keep track of your phone sometimes.”

“My-?” Ryuji looked confused. He checked his pockets and frowned as they started walking. “...I guess I forgot to grab it. Sorry.”

“Well, it's not like you're hurt so it's alright.” At least Kento hoped he wasn't. It didn't seem like that guy did anything other than grab at Ryuji's arm. Then again, it wasn't like Kento was there from the start. “That guy seems like that type that bothers anyone that doesn't kiss his ass or does better than him. What, is he jealous you got to debut and he didn't?”

Too late did Kento realize he couldn't hear Ryuji's steps. He turned around, wondering why he stopped walking and wasn't prepared for what he saw.

“Wha-Hey, Ryu!” he hurried over to where Ryuji was crouched on the floor, suddenly breathing hard with a hand on his chest.

“My...my chest hurts...” he barely heard him mumble.

“Your chest...?” He was confused for a moment before he realize what was going on. “Ah, shit...Ryu, I'm going to move you towards the wall, 'kay? Alright?”

Kento waited until he got an unsteady nod from Ryuji before grabbing his arm to pull him to his feet. He was trembling badly and his breathing was only getting worse. He got Ryuji off to the side and hidden next to the vending machine. Sitting on the floor now, Ryuji was hunched over until his head was touching his knees. It made him seem smaller than usual and only increased Kento's worry. His thoughts raced, trying to remember what to do in moments like these. He had to get Ryuji to calm down even a little before he got more worked up....

“Hey, Ryu, look at me.” Ryuji didn't seem to hear him so Kento repeated, “Look up at me. Can you manage that?”

It took a minute before Ryuji finally raised his head. His complexion was pale and clammy. A few tears had escaped from his eyes and looked like more were about to follow soon. Kento bit back the swear forming in his throat. He really wasn't good with tears.

“Ryu, repeat after me, okay? Seven, Fifteen, Three, Eight.”

“Wha-what?”

“Repeat that. Seven, Fifteen, Three, Eight. Can you do that?”

“hah...S-Seven, Fif-Fif-Fifteen? Three, Eigh...Eight?”

“Again.”

“Se-Seven...Fif-Fifteen...Three...Eight...”

“Once more.”

“...Seven...Fif-Fifteem...Three...Eight...”

Kento got Ryuji to repeat it twice more. After the last time, Ryuji's breathing had become more even. It was still unsteady but at least Kento didn't have to worry about him passing out.

Taking a deep breath himself, Kento got up to get a water from the vending machine then went to sit beside Ryuji. While he waited, he took out his phone and texted Tomohisa, telling him he was with Ryuji and where they were. After he sent the text, Ryuji spoke up.

“Sorry...about...about that.”

“Don't be. It happens,” Kento frowned. “You doing better now?”

“Yeah. Kinda...um, what's with that number thing?”

“Ah, that? Just a trick. Kinda hard to hyperventilate at the same time as memorizing a random order of numbers. Can't guarantee it'll always work though so don't hold me to that.” Kento admitted. “I didn't know you got panic attacks though. How long has that been going on?”

“I don't....” Ryuji stopped and tried to clear his throat. Kento handed him the water, watching as he chugged down half of it in one go. “Th-thanks....I don't get them. Not really. I did sometimes when I was younger but it's...been a really long time...nothing that bad either.”

“Do you know what brought it on?” As he asked it, Kento realized the answer right away. “Wait, don't tell me it has to do with that ass from before?”

Ryuji's grimace was answer enough.

“.....I...” He took a deep breath and started again. “I wasn't really liked by some people in Bambi. That guy...him and his friend used to try to make me mess up a lot. Tripping me during lessons. The halls. Mocking me. Anything to get a reaction from me and get in trouble with our teachers.” He paused and added, “They kept trying to get me to drop out. Said I didn't have a right to be there.”

“You were getting bullied? Why didn't we know about this!?” Kento regretted his surprise after his saw how uncomfortable Ryuji looked. “...I'm guessing Tomo and Yuta knew though, right?”

“...yeah. I made them promise not to tell anyone. I don't...I don't like thinking about it. It was a long time ago and it was stupid and pointless. There's no reason to get worked up over it but seeing that guy just reminded me of how annoying and frustrating and stressful-”

“Hey, hey!” Kento cut him off. “Deep breaths or else you'll get back to before again.”

“....right. Sorry.” Ryuji did as he was told. “I thought I was over it. But it all came rushing back. It's been so long I didn't really know how to react...”

“So...why'd they target you?”

“Does the reason really matter?”

“Guess not. People will find any reason to harass each other over,” Kento could hear voices from his own childhood. The cruel taunts and shoves. The memory of it made his skin prickle uncomfortably. “They love seeing others feel helpless.”

“They do,” Ryuji hid his face in his arms, his voice becoming slightly muffled. “I don't...I forget about it but then random things remind me of it. It's been years and I still find myself thinking I have to prove people wrong. I hate it...I hate that I can't get rid of it no matter what I do...”

“Proving yourself because of who your family is...” Kento muttered. Now he understood what Ryuji was targeted for. It always went back to that man.

That's a thought he didn't want to tread on. Best to block that out, especially now. “Can't control any of that.”

“It's not like it would make a difference. My father doesn't believe in pulling connections for family. He may give a chance but that's it. Just because he'll give stuff to other people doesn't mean he does the same for his children.” Ryuji scoffed. Despite himself, Kento felt himself smiling slightly. That sounded about right.

“Makes you wonder how the definition of family really should be.”

Ryuji leaned against his arm and let out a sigh.

“You...actually know a lot about this kind of thing, huh?”

“Yeah...” Kento's head moved back until it hit the wall. He did it a bit harder than necessary but it did it's job to clear his head of the fog that had been sneaking up on him. “But I'm not talking about it. This isn't about me right now.”

“Funny, you not trying to make something about yourself.”

“Just how big of a narcissist do you think I am?”

“Not as big as you think you are.” Ryuji's voice had a teasing note to it. Kento rolled his eyes.

“You must be feeling better if you're pulling that.”

“Thanks, Kento. Really.”

“Not gonna say you could handle it alone?”

“...not this time,” Ryuji rubbed his arm where that guy had grabbed him. “I don't know how I would have handled that alone. Besides, it...it almost felt like having a big brother looking out for me. So thanks.”

Something cracked in his chest. Kento wasn't sure if it was a good or bad feeling but he really didn't want to find out.

“...don't even joke about that.”

“There you are!”

They both looked up at the voice. Tomohisa finally showed up. Kento let out a deep breath. Sure took him long enough.

“Tomo...”

The look Ryuji got was probably the most vulnerable Kento's ever seen him. It made him realize that despite what just happened-or maybe because of it-he was still trying to keep some kind of wall up while they talked.

“We got worried when you took awhile to get back. Are you okay?” Tomohisa was looking a little frazzled. So different from his usual calm demeanor.

“Yeah...yeah, Kento helped a lot.” Ryuji held out his hands. Tomohisa took them right away to help him up.

“I'm always happy to help.” Kento gave a mock salute before standing. “Just don't get used to it. I'm not good with these kind of things.”

“Did something happen?”

“I'll tell you later,” Ryuji ran a hand through his hair. Kento didn't miss the way Tomohisa's frown deepened or the the way he squeezed Ryuji's hand. Still, he didn't press his partner for anymore details.

“Ryu-Chan! There you are!”

Yuta rounded the corner, looking out of breath.

“Did you get lost? We couldn't find you!”

“The only time I get lost is when I let you lead the way,” Ryuji rolled his eyes. “You guys worry too much.”

Kento felt impressed despite the situation. Ryuji was good at covering up when he wanted to. If it wasn't for how close he was sticking to Tomohisa's side, you wouldn't think anything was wrong with him.

“Of course we worry when you forget your phone!”

“I don't need it on me all the time.”

“You do tend to forget things when you have stuff on you mind.”

“Tomo, don't take Yuta's side!”

It seemed just being with Tomohisa and Yuta brought some kind of comfort to Ryuji. Kento wondered how much these two helped Ryuji through out Bambi. Maybe he really would have dropped out if he didn't have them for support. Kento was almost a little jealous.

“ _...it almost felt like having a big brother looking out for me.”_

He remembered what Ryuji said earlier and shook his head. It really was best to block that thought out. Let sleeping dogs lie just a little bit longer.

For both their sakes.


End file.
